nothing good will ever last
by an ocean of weltschmerz
Summary: Atlas wasn't a complete barbarian, you know. He had loved, once upon a time. And look how wonderfully that had turned out.


**A/N: This is for Jordan.**

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY~! I HOPE YOU'VE HAD A LOVELY DAY. :D**

**(I'm sorry it's late, and sorry if it sucks)**

* * *

_To love is to destroy, and to be loved is to be the one destroyed._

_~ The City of Bones, Cassandra Clare_

* * *

There was a woman, once.

_(there is always a woman.)_

* * *

An interesting thing, love is. It affects heroes and villains alike (and everyone in between), reducing them to teenage girls.

* * *

She's_ gone_ now, and as the life spilled out of her her, with it went his thoughts of reform, or making up for everything he'd done, of always doing the right thing from now on, _for her. _

All that's left now is the anger, the pure hatred boiling up inside him until he feels like he's about to explode.

* * *

Don't think for one second that the gods aren't cruel.

_They _sent her here, up against a creature she couldn't beat.

Sent her here to _die._

_(because the only alternative to blaming the gods is blaming himself, and that he cannot live with.)_

All he has for company now are the whispers that have taken permanent residence in his head.

It's worse now, because his time with her has spoiled him. He knows what he's missing now.

_(deaddeaddead / why didn't you do something_ / _you couldn't have done anything / you should have found away / you let her die / gone forever / never. coming. back.)_

* * *

Twenty-two (older than most demigods lived to. She had been _lucky_), light brown hair, dark eyes that sparkled with life, and as brave as anyone could be.

_(it was that bravery that killed her, in the end) _

She'd been hunting a monster, one whose trail ended abruptly in the arena.

He had thought it was luck. Now he knows it was just misfortune.

* * *

She was the first person she'd spoken to in... how long had it been?

One tends to lose track of time.

Somehow, they had instantly clicked.

She found excuses to stay in the area, and most nights they'd stay up talking.

_(she spoke of how she could continue tracking it from here, how it had to be somewhere near here. they both knew she stayed for him. nobody had ever done anything like that for him. and, now that she's gone, nobody ever will.)_

* * *

The pain would fade into the background when he was with her, his mind filled with his voice and her smile instead of the constant weight of the sky.

It was a wonderful feeling, that. How he wished he could get it back.

_(you don't truly understand what you have until one day it's gone)_

* * *

"So you say it's possible for someone to willingly take your burden for you?"

"Yes," he laughed, bitterly. "Not that anyone would."

"I would." She was completely serious, he knew.

"No. _No. _Absolutely. Not. I will never allow it."

"Why not? I'm perfectly willing, I _want _to."

"No. You do not. _You have no idea what it's like._" That was the wrong thing to say.

"No, I do not know what it's like, but I _do_ know it must be awful for you, and I just want to give you a break. I'm strong enough, I can hold it for at least a short time."

"No. What part do you not understand about no?" He was yelling now, but he couldn't stop. "Yes, it _is _awful, which is _exactly _why I will never let you. I _love _you, and nobody I love is going through this."

She saw the look in his eyes, and knew arguing was no use. Instead, she stalked away.

* * *

The next time he saw her, she was being chased.

He watched as it caught up to her, digging its claws into her throat.

He stood still, holding up the weight of the _damn sky _as the blood ran through the cracks in the rock, listening helplessly to her cries of pain.

Then it was over, those brown eyes shone no more, and she'd never speak again.

* * *

It wasn't _fair. _

He could have saved her if he hadn't been to busy holding the sky, and he wishes he'd just dropped it, because who gives a fuck about the world?

Who gives a fuck about anything when the only one you've ever really loved is still lying in front of you, freezing cold, and you can't even go to her because you are _still holding up the fucking sky?_

* * *

Days blend into nights blend into days and he doesn't care about a single thing anymore.

He's not sure why he's still living.

Maybe soon it'll all be over, and he'll finally.

get.

some.

rest.


End file.
